About Me

Perth, WA, Australia
Hi friends. To those I have met in person and the many I haven't - welcome to our nest. Thanks so much for stopping by. I am a mama of six baby birds and wife to one papa bird. Our nest is an intricately woven home, crafted over time, through the highs and lows of life, and many in-betweens. We are soon to leave our Australian nest to re-locate to our second home, the UK. This is our story, of our new life in a new country, the trials and tribulations, bidding goodbye to precious friends and embracing new. I know at times, our wings will be flapping so hard to keep us moving forward that we will tire, however, a little perseverence will bring effortless gliding amongst a soft breeze, and even stronger wings for the journey ahead. Welcome to our flight......

Friday, 27 January 2012

The Three Phases of Incubation.

For the past 14 years, we have been consumed by babies and children, filling my womb, draining our wallets and adding to our home, in more ways than one.

From my experience there are three phases of incubation, starting upon conception and that very first bottle of Mylanta and ginger tea.  It goes something like this:

Number One, are 'the necessaries'.  These are the obvious day-to-day needs that every parent has to buy - clothes, food, nappies, baby wipes, dummies, bibs and large amounts of wine (just kidding).

Number two are 'the I wants'.  This incorporates decorating the nursery (a specific theme is also quite acceptable and thus included within 'the I wants' budget), buying maternity clothes for the incubator (mum!), the odd pedi and mani, when said incubator is feeling frumpy and fat, special maternity nanna- knickers with ultra huge elastic waist and padding for sloppy pelvic floors, and basically anything to do with the incubator's general health and well-being and the continuation of it for 9 months (and thereafter when incubator is no longer incubating but a milk machine - that's a whole different story!)

Now with number three, we are moving towards a bit of a grey area, as this is 'the I am going to have, just because' phaseMen usually start to turn grey at the temples throughout this stage, as well as a bit green around the gills.  And sometimes their beer intake is raised just a tad.  So number three is quite sly and goes something like this:

When 'the I wants' have been purchased, 'the just because' sneakily sidles up to the incubator (aka, the emotional flaky one) and has a quiet word.  "Good choice with the recycled, vintage, organically made, height adjustable, changing table.  The correlating change matt will go superbly with this piece, but (and here's the catch) have you considered the ergonomically designed head-rest, made in Germany, scientifically proven to enhance baby's restfulness as well as general posture and well being?".  Hmm, ok yes, we'll take that too!  "Excellent decision, oh wise incubator!".  "and for just a small token, you can also install an inbuilt classical music system within the headrest to assist in baby's brain regeneration, which latest studies have proven, actually have better outcomes than fish oil".

Incubator duly reeled in.  The male of the family, can often be found in a foetal position of the store, wedged between the jogger prams and the 10 speed baby rockers.

And finally....and I do regret to expand on this topic, but once the gorgeous little ones can actually walk and talk, there are the toy aisles of the major department stores.  One senses an air of tension and conflict coming from these bulging shelves of plastic anonymity.  Tantrums are rife, Mum's snapping at children and using trolleys to push them out of the aisle and Dad, well they can be foetally found somewhere within the store.  And for some odd reason, there is often a Jack or a Jordan down one of these aisles, going great guns towards plastic toy consumption.  Negotiation is rife.

However, this leads me to Phase Number Four, and that I will leave for another day.  Go retrieve your foetal partners.

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