About Me

Perth, WA, Australia
Hi friends. To those I have met in person and the many I haven't - welcome to our nest. Thanks so much for stopping by. I am a mama of six baby birds and wife to one papa bird. Our nest is an intricately woven home, crafted over time, through the highs and lows of life, and many in-betweens. We are soon to leave our Australian nest to re-locate to our second home, the UK. This is our story, of our new life in a new country, the trials and tribulations, bidding goodbye to precious friends and embracing new. I know at times, our wings will be flapping so hard to keep us moving forward that we will tire, however, a little perseverence will bring effortless gliding amongst a soft breeze, and even stronger wings for the journey ahead. Welcome to our flight......

Friday, 27 January 2012

The Three Phases of Incubation.


For the past 14 years, we have been consumed by babies and children, filling my womb, draining our wallets and adding to our home, in more ways than one.

From my experience there are three phases of incubation, starting upon conception and that very first bottle of Mylanta and ginger tea.  It goes something like this:

Number One, are 'the necessaries'.  These are the obvious day-to-day needs that every parent has to buy - clothes, food, nappies, baby wipes, dummies, bibs and large amounts of wine (just kidding).

Number two are 'the I wants'.  This incorporates decorating the nursery (a specific theme is also quite acceptable and thus included within 'the I wants' budget), buying maternity clothes for the incubator (mum!), the odd pedi and mani, when said incubator is feeling frumpy and fat, special maternity nanna- knickers with ultra huge elastic waist and padding for sloppy pelvic floors, and basically anything to do with the incubator's general health and well-being and the continuation of it for 9 months (and thereafter when incubator is no longer incubating but a milk machine - that's a whole different story!)

Now with number three, we are moving towards a bit of a grey area, as this is 'the I am going to have, just because' phaseMen usually start to turn grey at the temples throughout this stage, as well as a bit green around the gills.  And sometimes their beer intake is raised just a tad.  So number three is quite sly and goes something like this:

When 'the I wants' have been purchased, 'the just because' sneakily sidles up to the incubator (aka, the emotional flaky one) and has a quiet word.  "Good choice with the recycled, vintage, organically made, height adjustable, changing table.  The correlating change matt will go superbly with this piece, but (and here's the catch) have you considered the ergonomically designed head-rest, made in Germany, scientifically proven to enhance baby's restfulness as well as general posture and well being?".  Hmm, ok yes, we'll take that too!  "Excellent decision, oh wise incubator!".  "and for just a small token, you can also install an inbuilt classical music system within the headrest to assist in baby's brain regeneration, which latest studies have proven, actually have better outcomes than fish oil".

Incubator duly reeled in.  The male of the family, can often be found in a foetal position of the store, wedged between the jogger prams and the 10 speed baby rockers.

And finally....and I do regret to expand on this topic, but once the gorgeous little ones can actually walk and talk, there are the toy aisles of the major department stores.  One senses an air of tension and conflict coming from these bulging shelves of plastic anonymity.  Tantrums are rife, Mum's snapping at children and using trolleys to push them out of the aisle and Dad, well they can be foetally found somewhere within the store.  And for some odd reason, there is often a Jack or a Jordan down one of these aisles, going great guns towards plastic toy consumption.  Negotiation is rife.

However, this leads me to Phase Number Four, and that I will leave for another day.  Go retrieve your foetal partners.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

The Scary Spin.


A few days ago I went to my first RPM class (or spin class). I have no idea what RPM stands for but my guess is 'repetitive pain movement'. The actual process of pumping my legs in a circular motion for 51.5 minutes (I was timing!), including hill climbs where one actually stands up to tackle 'the hill', is quite disconcerting, considering you don't actually go anywhere, and my scenery view was a brick wall that stated 'wipe the sweat off your bikes after your workout'. Nice!

Even more troublesome than a bike that moves but doesn't move, was our instructor. Think Scary Spice meets Pauline Hanson...really. At first, I didn't know where to place my eyes, as I was trying to follow the routine, which changed every few seconds, but every time I look at Scary, well, she was scary. Picture a body so toned and buffed that every muscle was like a 3D map. Her fingernails were long and black, my guess to be used as ammunition for lazy spinners, and her voice was loud and gravelly with punctuations of 'yeah, let's go baby' - scary!!!

However, the very worst of it, was the sweat. Pouring out of her, and dripping off her, running down every hill and dip of her body builders frame. I was in the very front row as was running a tad late and all of the other dedicated spinners had been warming up for 20 mins. Rats - can't slack off now. Anyway, as Scary was starting to really get into the routine and her eyes were rolling into the back of her head in total exercise ecstasy, she would sweep her long finger nailed hand towards us and a downpour of sweat would spray outwards - landing on me. What was one to do? One lady had already walked out mid-session, where Scary growled 'can't stand the heat ey?'. I think I let out a small whimper at this stage and wanted my Mum. This really got her started and she began to wax lyrical on living in the land of Vegemite and beer, and if nobody liked it here they could 'bxxxxx well go back to where they came from!' Enter, Pauline Hanson persona.

Finally the torture came to an end and I made my way around the swimming pool of sweat on the floor, dodged the fingernails and made for the door. However in my frantic haste for freedom (and the comforts of my Mum), I forgot to wipe my bike down. So like the moral and responsible citizen I am, I took a detour and escaped out the back door.

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Fish & Chipmunks...

There is a worrying trend amongst women and it goes way beyond what they eat for breakfast, how much they weigh or how quickly they have flattened their baby bumps. Its called 'fish lips' and 'chipmunk cheeks' aka fillers.

For a while, I couldn't work out what was wrong with certain celebrity's faces - they all had the same 'look' - puffy cheeks, pouffy lips and the inability to smile and move their mouths freely. Apparentely, when one ages, ones faces sink, enhancing wrinkles and causing one to look haggard. So, in an attempt to re-claim ones youthful perkiness and fresh face, cosmetic fillers have become all the rage, starting at a whopping $700 for one tiny ml.

I recently treated my sore back to a massage at a spa and came out with handfuls of paraphernalia on all sorts of ways to freshen and revitalise my face which evidently has been ravaged by the environment, stress, even sleeping on my pillow (did you know it pulls your face down - 'down' being the taboo word! Nothing that heads south is good news - ever). In for a massage, out for a facial re-construction. I didn't know my arterial vein had collapsed in my upper lip causing lipstick bleed - bad!! I didn't even know I had an arterial vein....

So why, when we are young, do we want to lose our cute, chubby, baby faces and look older and more mature, and when we are pushing 40, we want it all back, in strange proportions? And there are billions of money spent on all of this. Trillions even.

I am off to embrace my collapsed arterial lip vein, as well as my hollow cheeks, sagging eye-lids and snake-slit lips. I guess it is all down hill from here... Aaah, there's that 'down' word again. I meant to say, it is all peaks and troughs - hopefully peaks.